Email

I heard that comments have been working sporadically, so I added an email button to the right hand side at the bottom, in case you're just dying to tell me something ;).

work, work, work

It's been a busy week. I forgot to take Soren to her massage appointment yesterday because we have been so busy.

I took Jude to the dr. and she gave me an abx script and said to fill it if he wasn't better yesterday, which of course he was. I'm going to hang on to it for a few days, just in case. Little booger. He's much happier this morning.

I got to coach pre-team last night and had so much fun! Emma went to Buffalo with her coach and some other girls today to cheer on the Level 6 team at their State meet. She was so excited and so organized. She packed her little bag with her gameboy (btw, if anyone has any games that their kids have outgrown/don't want anymore, we only have 3!), her 20 questions game (thanks Jo, for reminding me to have her take that!), her homeopathic car sickness remedy, and money for food. She'll be gone all day.

Soren might go to Strong Museum this morning and then we're going to get her hair cut, and maybe mine. I can't decide. It's really long right now and it's kind of driving me nuts. I've been feeling so unattractive lately. I'm afraid that if I get it cut, though, that I'll hate it and feel even worse. I don't know what to do!

I want to take her to the mall anyway, because I found non-dairy sorbet at Maggie Moo's :)

We have Betsy the dog again and she is outside in the backyard rolling Sullivan around in the mud. So much for that bath I gave him two days ago! We really need to plant some grass out there and burlap it. They go right for the muddy spot, and Sully has started to dig a hole in it, damn dog.

Anyway, I have to work this morning. I am subbing for a coworker. Fun, fun!

FTTS

I just heard Emma scream from upstairs and I called up to ask her what was wrong.

"Nothing."

"You just screamed, I"m not buying it."

"My hair looks horrible!"

As I came upstairs, she ran away, saying, "Don't look, it may be hazardous to your health!"

Last night, Emma was talking about how her friend had his tonsils out and said that they gave him too much ice cream and he was sick of it. I commented that I guess you can get sick of anything.

Soren was walking through the room and very matter-of-factly said, "You never get sick of ice cream when you're a dairy-free person!"

It just struck us all so funny, we all cracked up. She just kept on walking ;).

Jude still has a fever. My house is trashed; the kitchen is full of dog hair; the entryway has table saws in it; the other entrance desperately needs to be vacuumed and mopped; I have 8 loads of laundry to fold and put away and the kitchen is disgusting - Tom has been doing the dishes but hasn't wiped the counters or stove in days.

I really really want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head.

Jude started another fever during the night last night; the upside is that he slept a lot for the first time in about 4 days. This cold is now 3 weeks long. Ridiculous!

I have had more time to think about my appointment with Soren and my instincts are telling me that kids present MIs very different than adults and I really think that eventually I'll be potentially looking at an affective disorder, but that a personality disorder is rather hard to predict for a child of 6 at this point. It makes it feel a lot more managable for some reason. I'm going to get a second opinion when I figure out what our insurance will cover and I realize that I am probably coping just about as well as I can, given the circumstances. I really need to get *Soren* into some sort of support network so someone with experience can help her get to where she should be with being able to recognize and articulate emotions.

I got my period too, which got rid of the crazies right away. I think I need to look into some sort of supplement or reminding myself to take the homeopathic remedy every month so that I'm not so wacked out by my hormones. The older I get the worse it is. Menopause seems like it be a blessing at this point.

Soren update

I've blogged intermittently about issues with Soren's behavior and such and today I went to see a counselor about it and to help me develop some coping mechanisms.

He is not a doctor, nor does he play one on TV, but he has a real-life good background in counseling and family dynamics and as an unschooler type, I like his experience more than his education. He calls himself a "wellness" counselor and he doesn't use a lot of "ivory tower" terms.

I think the thing that i liked most about him when I interviewed him on the phone was that he said that his view of counseling is to help people find the truth that is already inside of them and to help to bring it out. He's got about 15 years experience with family and children and started out working with alcoholics and drug addicts.

I'm kind of stalling about thinking too hard about the session. It's much easier to just stay in denial, although clearly that isn't what I want to do, or I wouldn't have gone to him in the first place. Not to mention that I'm paying out of pocket, rather than go to a regular psychologist. But anyway, all the therapists I have seen in the past have been pretty alternative/progressive anyway, so he fits the mold. Which discussion of is just more procrastination ;).

So anyway, he's not a doctor, but he suggested that he could refer me and her to one at some point in the future if I wanted to get a "real" diagnosis, but that in the meantime we can work on coping skills. The end result of our phone discussion and our meeting today though is that he suspects that Soren may end up with a diagnosis of some sort of personality disorder, and more specifically, borderline personality disorder. There, I said it. My worst fears. Even worse than bipolar disorder. Although, I must say, he's convinced that bp is overdiagnosed and spent a good bit of time discussing David's diagnosis, so he may be biased against seeing that in anyone, and not to mention it's so hard to diagnose kids anyway, because they present so differently than adults.

Regardless of diagnosis or not though, it was so good to have someone *hear* me and *get* that Soren is more than just *more* aka a spirited child. She has a real jekyl and hyde personality and OCD tendencies that make life with her very exhausting most of the time.

I was able to say that I was really afraid of having a child with a mental health problem, because unlike her dad, I can't divorce her. She's my baby. It really made me think about the fears and resentments and walls I have up about emotions and talking through things - I mean, I do, and I hate to have things festering, but I dn't want to be responsible for another sick person. I need to find a way to come to grips with caring for her and having a healthy relationship for her, but at the same time, not to be responsible for "fixing" her.

So he gave me some information about SET (Support. Empathy. Truth.) I'll give it a try and I have some reading to do.

On the ride home, I ran the gamut of emotions, from:
*someone gets this

*denial - this is just a phase; look at my beautiful girl, there can't be something serious going on with her

*anger and resentment

*fear

*tears

*more denial

I'm sure lots of people will have an opinion about this - that's fine. I'm not planning on taking anything for granted; I just want to be able to live with her and get through the days w/o being exhausted by her all the time. I want to have a positive relationship with her, not one rife with conflict and aggressing and anger. I want to have her IQ tested, and probably see a psychologist for an opinion. But most of all, I want coping skills. I want something that works. I've read all the books, I've tried all the tricks and the reality is that nothing works. I need something to save my sanity. I need to be able to get past all the crap and see Soren - the girl behind all the roiling clouds of gray and black and stomping feet. The one that is perfect and compliant outside of the house. She needs something from me and she trusts me enough to drive me crazy until I figure out what it is and give it to her.

But most of all, I want to go to bed and cover my head. I don't want to compartmentalize today. I don't want to go to work and put on a happy fucking face. I want to go to bed and cry and to be alone. I don't want to take care of Jude, or make dinner, or talk to Tom about this. I just want to grieve.

FTTD

Jude growls like the dog as part of his babbling and he does it a lot. Today, Soren and Jude and I were snuggling in bed before we got up and she touched his face. He growled *really* loud and scared her so much she jerked her hand back. A split-second later she realized that there was no reason to be afraid of course and we all cracked up. I think he thinks that he's Sullivan's brother too! They have taken to climbing all over each other and acting like puppy mates!

mobility

Well, Jude's newest trick, which he has acquired way too quickly for my liking, is that he is pulling up on anything and everything. Cruising will not be far behind and then probably walking. Goddess help me.

We went climbing tonight - Tom and I were going to just go and then we invited David and the girls and it was so much fun! I have never really climbed a real wall before. I think all the coaching and gymnastics has been good for me. I was able to go up the beginner walls right away, although the first time I got a little freaked out by the height and stopped short of the top. The second time I went all the way. Then I climbed a bit of a harder wall. The one guy said I should try some of the trails next time. Pretty exciting!

Soren made the top of the wall she was working on and was thrilled with herself. Emma cruised all over the place. Then we went in the cave and I actually made it onto the ceiling my first try! Soren made it almost and then jumped down and twisted her ankle in between the mats. That was the end of her climbing for the night, but I think she's OK.

The owner was there and spent a lot of time talking with us. He's super cool. He said we can bring Jude's pack and play and put him by the desk while we climb, and was cool with us wearing him in the backpack while we belayed each other. Jude was happy most of the time and David held him for a bit after Soren got hurt. I was a bit worried about belaying Tom since he's so much larger than I am, but the grigri works great and it was no problem. I just had to try to keep up with him since he is tall - one step for him is about 2 ft. of rope to bring in the slack for!

Anyway, I had a blast. My forearms and hands are tired but I used my legs the most, which was the advice from the staff. I feel like I did really well for my first time and it was fun to get the kids in there outside of class to climb. Everyone was so friendly! We also met my friend Michelle's ex-boyfriend, Eric. He has super long dreads and a few piercings. The kids loved him. He is really sweet and turns out he lives just a few blocks away from us now so he invited us for a grill out sometime. He just started climbing too and is already all over the place, so maybe I'll catch up ;). He's only about 8 years younger than me ;).

Must get up at the buttcrack of dawn to go to Emma's meet tomorrow morning. She is shooting for at least a 34, which she'll have to work hard for, since she had a very poor score of 31 something last meet. Should be interesting! I hope she wins something and has a good meet. They've been out of the gym all week and are out of that mindset.

Note to susie - found out that the VA can't help us at all anyway. Bummer.

Oh, and my dad's hand is broken. No cast or splint though. It's at the base of his pinky and in a place that is difficult to immobilize. Hopefully they can get him to rest it for a couple of weeks so it heals well.

Off to eat and then hit the sack. 5:30 is going to come way too soon.

quiet

It's so quiet. We watched Reservoir Dogs last night and part of the Secret of Roan Inish, but Tom fell asleep so I turned it off.

Jude was up all night nursing and around 5:30 I tried to hand him off to Tom, who walked him for about 15 minutes and then brought him back to bed, where he wailed in my ear for about 5 minutes before I snapped. I asked Tom why he thought that I asked him to take the baby? Obviously, so I could get more sleep and having him wail in my ear, even though I had nursed him for the last hour straight was not going to help me sleep.

He's not talking to me apparently, which is one reason it's so quiet here. He got up and did the dishes after I took Jude back and got him back to sleep myself. I wonder if he thinks that doing housework is a substitute for his complete lack of communication skills? I'm so frustrated with that. I wrote him a letter, since he won't talk to me, but I don't think I'll give it to him, since he won't respond to it anyway, given past history.

Sometimes I can see why Wendy (the ex) left the way she did; she probably got sick of trying to talk to a brick wall. Feh. PMS anyone?

I love him anyway. This is really the only thing that I have to complain about wrt to Tom, but it's really huge. I'm going to see a counselor on Monday about Soren and I'm going to talk to him about this too.

I'm waiting for J. to wake up from his nap so I can go to the bank and laundromat. I don't want his diapers to sit for the week it's going to take to order the new timer. A week!! David figured it out. Costs $80, but better than paying a repairman AND the markup on the part and I'd still have to wait anyway. None of the repair places had it in stock either.

We took J. to the doctor yesterday and of course he was already feeling better - she said just a really long cold. Interesting - she said that research is showing that boys have weaker immune systems in the first year of life. Anecdotally that's been true of my kids.

It's raining and grey here; that is probably contributing to my mood. I just want to go back to bed. I didn't get close to enough sleep. And I feel icky and ugly and blah. I hate hormones. I wish I could go back on the pill to regulate things again.

Wow, this is a long and whiny post ;). Move along people, nothing more to see here!

Laundry and ick

Did I mention that I had a ton of laundry? Well, I got about half of it done and my washing machine stopped working yesterday. I did a load, and it ran through, and next load, it wouldn't start. Tom looked at it and doesn't have a clue. I've asked David if he could look at it; otherwise I'll have to call a repairman.

Jude now has icky cold in his eye, so I've finally caved and am taking him to the doctor this morning. This has been going on way too long.

He said mama yesterday! Probably babbling, but pretty cool all the same.

We had dinner with MIL last night - grilled chicken, baked beans and pasta salad. Very yummy! Soren was in a mood - very snippy and snotty. I could just see her in 10 years with that same sullen look on her face and the same, "yeah, whatever" tone to her voice. Woot! Love it.

I finally talked to the "wellness counselor" yesterday and have an appt to meet with him on Monday. He sounds really cool.

sick

Jude's sick still/again. Low grade fever. Runny nose. Icky cough. I can't figure out if I should take him to the dr. It's been going on for 2 weeks, but he doesn't seem *that* sick. He's fussy and clingy today, which could also be post-travel syndrome, which is his MO.

I have so much laundry to do, it's frightening.

Got the paperwork filled out for medicaid and the nursing home today. Will send off tomorrow. Still have to copy POA and SS info. God I hate filling out forms.

Must go snuggle Jude.

words and such

Jude's new word is blah blah blah ;). And mamamamamama, which I love! Emma insists it's Em---ma though! And Babababa. The new words are so much fun!

We are safely home again. My mom drove me totally over the edge about my dad. I finally told her that i wasn't going to talk about it anymore and that she should just stop. Of course she couldn't.

Dad and I went to see his neurologist (who incidentally, is extremely handsome. I had forgotten HOW handsome until I met him again!) and there is no change in his aneurisum. ::::huge sigh of relief::: Initially, the hospital that there was an imminent rupture. Apparently they weren't concerned enough about that to send his CT scan results to the dr. for his appointment though. Oh no. I had to go and pick them up and hand carry them. I guess if you want something done right, do it yourself.

So now, we're still at finding a facility for him. I'm awaiting a medicaid form and the Office of the Aging is sending an assessment form to the neurologist so they can go over and do a needs assessment with the current facility. Then we'll have an idea of where we're going. I'm sure that they will say he doesn't need a locked facility. And I'm just as sure that by the time a month has passed, they will see the error of their ways ;).

The girls are at Camp Arrowhead this morning and I'm unpacking. I'd like to try to do their quarterly reports today. We're going rock climbing this afternoon and then to dinner at my MIL's house. Tomorrow night I'm letting David take the girls a day early since it's spring break and he was nice enough to watch my dog for 4 days!

travels

We're in PA at my friend Erica's! She looked rather shocked when we pulled in last night. Apparently she was expecting us tomorrow, but with her impeccable grace, she welcomed us anyway and got us all tucked into bed in good order.

We had a lovely visit with Laura BZ, Colleen and Karen and all our assorted kids at the shore in NJ. It was SO great to see the ocean. I missed it so much last year, since I couldn't travel that far when I was so pregnant. I can't wait to go back again in July. We also are planning to travel to Lake George in August to see laura and family again then. Three times in one year! It's a record for sure :). Tom has been dying to take us to the Adirondacks anyway, so he is thrilled at the opportunity.

It was a longer drive than I anticipated from the beach to PA; I think Mapquest's directions were a little wacky. The kids were great though. We stopped at Cracker Barrel to eat (I've decided I don't really like their food very much) and I got Soren a Beanie Baby dog and Emma a dress up doll thingy. Hard to describe. We got my mom a cane that has a rearview mirror and a bicycle horn on it ;).

Today I have to take my dad to the neurologist. The kids are bathing and as soon as Tom and I shower we're headed over to my mom's house.

We'll head home tomorrow.

The sky is falling!

So I got a call last night that my dad took a bad fall and had to go to the emergency room. They didn't get back to me until after midnight. He hurt his face but appears to have no broken bones. He had a CT Scan and his aneurism is enlarged from the last time he was there.

I got a call back from the VA today and they don't seem particularly helpful. I think it would be better to try to get him enrolled in medicaid, but I'll pull his papers together next week and see what I can do. :::sigh::: This is going to be a busy day.

We're leaving for NJ tomorrow to visit with Laura BZ, Karen of Catherine and Colleen and family. I haven't packed a damn thing yet and have people coming over this morning, have to work and get Soren to ballet this afternoon and Emma is in a play again this evening. God help me.

I had a dream about my favorite cousin's older brother last night but don't remember the context. However, it inspired me to try to google my fave cousin, Jon, this morning. I had tried before with no success, but I guess the fact that he moved to SF was part of that! I found him! His mother and my mother (sisters) have very bad blood between them, which filtered down to us, since we weren't allowed to see each other for some years, and then his mother and I had it out right after I had Emma. My family is totally crazy at times - to the point of being ludicrous. Anyway, I emailed him and will be interested to see if he emails me back or not.

I also had a dream that an ex-boyfriend emailed me soliciting funds for starving Chinese children. Weird.

On top of it all, I have my first plugged duct of this nursing relationship. Right on cue with ovulation, like I used to get with Soren. I'm downing lecithin and doing lots of weird nursing positions and massage. Couldn't come at a better time. I'm sure that my sleep deprivation hasn't helped things, although I got a lot of sleep last night I think, for the first time in recent memory.

comments and dad update

Laura, I do hope that the young man with poor marijunana smoking judgment will get arrested soon ;).

And ftr, I did apologize to the neighbors, via a note on their door, because they wouldn't answer the door or weren't home when I went over to talk to them. I haven't had any response though.

I have been making tons of phone calls about my dad. Thanks for the good thoughts. The news is not easy or particularly good.

1. There is a 2 mo. waiting list at the county nursing home in State College, PA, where he currently is. I have to apply for medicaid before I can get him on that waiting list, and they are sending me an application.

2. He would have to apply for medicaid in NY to get in to just about any nursing home here in Rochester.

The catch? He has to reside in NY before he can apply ;). Hah! That's a conundrum. I'm not comfortable having him live with me because I can't guarantee he won't wander off. My hope is that maybe I can find a place to negotiate with just his social security until I can get him approved for medicaid. It would really be in their long-term best interest anyway.

3. I called this place called ElderSource, which is supposed to help with placements. I got their number from the Presbyterian Home which is about 3 blocks from my house, which cannot take my dad, because he makes $19/mo too much to qualify for SSI and they only have 30 SSI beds and don't take medicare. They cost $3500/mo for a locked facility. Again, Hah!

4. Eldersource referred me to a woman to do a PRI, which is some sort of acronym for a needs assessement, which will cost $40. If I want to use ElderSource to help me find a place based on his assessment, it will cost $500. Might I say, Hah?!

5. So, I will have to do the legwork myself once I know what his assessment is, so that I can find a place to negotiate with me AND has a bed availble. Time is of the essence apparently.

6. The woman who does the assessments, according to her voicemail, is out of town until May 2. So I'm stuck until probably mid-May by the time she catches up from vacation. That's a month away. Not very timely, IMO.

7. Thankfully, ES is going to email me a list of homes that I can contact in the meantime and tour and try to find one that will work with me.

8. The woman at ES is very sweet. She called me back to find out whether my dad is a veteran, which he is, and gave me the number of the veteran's outpatient clinic. I left a message for THAT woman, who is theoretically supposed to be in the office all day on Thursdays, but is not there today for some reason. She doesn't return calls on Fridays, and I'll be out of town till Tuesday, so argh! Anyway, that would be a good option, if they can help me with a VA Hospital placement, even if it's temporary.

So, hurry up and wait I guess. I hate playing this game. Why can't this country take better care of it's most fragile citizens; the old and the young?

kid stuff

Soren got her standing back handspring at gymnastics today. Huge accomplishment!

Jude learned how to clap - another huge accomplishment! He's also crawling faster and faster. We're teaching him how to climb off the end of the bed so he doesn't fall off, but he's not standing too well yet, so it'll be a while before he's ready to do that on his own.

At Camp Arrowhead, Soren studied rainbows. They did experiments with water and light, and milk and food coloring, and then they had their class about time. This week was pioneers. They made tin punches and dipped candles and were doing something with magnifying glasses when I got there. I suspect it was more to do with rainbows. Soren is *loving* these classes.

Emma's class played flag football and some other games and then learned how to make a shelter with a rope and sticks. She and Nat did a skit about theirs and discovered that they had made it on a hill and Emma rolled out when she laid in it!

Then we went to rock climbing for the first time. All the adults learned how to belay. Emma went up some high walls. Soren did about half of a wall a couple of times. She was hungry though and gave up after a bit. Next week I want to make sure she eats well on the way there so she can enjoy it more. Hopefully we'll get a chance to go in!

Emma's class did a play yesterday. St. Francis and the Wolf of Gubbio. Emma was the wolf. It was *amazing*. They did such a good and professional job with everything. Their lines were clearly enunciated and loud. I really enjoyed it!

Soren also got a new leotard today. She was so excited! She's growing out of her old ones and Emma's not ready to pass hers on yet. Eek, they're in the same size! Soren is looking so tall to me lately. She's changing a lot.

I met with her LCG teacher yesterday to discuss what to do about next year. She's the oldest one in her current class and part of me thinks she would be better served by being with kids closer to her age. She'd be the youngest in the next class up, but not by nearly as much as she is older in her current class.

We talked about the fact that Soren is emotinally immature - in some ways maybe she's stuck at 2.5 yo, when her dad and I separated. She doesn't articulate emotions at all and is really stunted in her ability to communicate about feelings at all or to problem solve people problems. So in some ways it would be nice for her to stay in her current class and work some of those things out. But on the other hand, she's really intellectually advanced and very good with her hands, so she would love the craftwork and music in the older class and has friends in that group.

Her teacher suggested that we try some craniosacral therapy to try to get some emotional releases in her body. I'm not sure how much I buy into it, but my friend Michelle does it, so we are going to do a few sessions and see what happens. Lynne also suggested doing a few sessions with a Wellness counselor she knows. I think it's worth a try. I see Soren at a very fragile place; she is transitioning out of the magic years towards 7 yo and she is growing and maturing, but I want her to have the skills she needs to navigate relationships and I don't want to screw up this very special time in her life.

So, we still dont' have an answer about our direction for next year, but I do know that we are going to try to resolve some of the things that may not be finished developing for Soren and try to have a better holistic approach to the next year.

So, that's where we're at on hump day ;).

My dad

I have been, along with the assisted living facility, in denial about the state of my father's health for some months now. Unfortunately it has now come to a head and I'm going to need to move him into a locked facility due to his increasing dementia. It feels so wrong to me; I've tried for years to give him dignity and autonomy despite his brain damage, but now he can no longer keep himself safe and neither can the facility that loves him so much.

My days this week will be filled with trying to find a suitable placement for him. It's very sad. I talked with him today and he sounds so confused and stressed. Not himself.

Jude is still struggling with his cold. He's fussy and clingy. Poor little guy.

We have our first rock climbing class today. The girls are at Camp Arrowhead right now, so I'm trying to catch up on cleaning and laundry.

:::sigh::: I just feel so sad and depressed about my dad.

busy

We've been busy. The kids were with their dad this weekend and Tom and I had our friend Bernie and her husky, Bandit, come to visit. We went to Tom's mother's house for spaghetti and meatballs on Saturday. We ended up spending a good portion of the day there. I had to work Saturday morning, as I was substituting at the front desk. I was nervous that I would be a mess, since that is generally a very busy day and especially this past week, but it went very smoothly I think!

We went for a long walk with Jude in the stroller on Saturday, as the weather was gorgeous. We watched Frida Saturday night. I had seen it before but Tom and Bernie hadn't. It's such an interesting movie.

I wasn't feeling particularly well, but felt better on Sunday. We had a late breakfast and did a bunch of spring cleaning on the front porch and the back yard. I couldn't take the rap music from next door any longer though, so we put the dogs in the car and went to Ellison Park for a long walk with Jude and the dogs.

We grilled chicken and Bernie and Emma made an amazing waldorf-y salad after the kids got home and we had a wonderful dinner! Then we were going to watch Y Tu Mama Tambien, but I was too tired. Bernie ended up staying overnight again.

Today I had Jude's 6/7 mo checkup and had major stress all day because I lost my wallet. I did eventually find it under his changing table.

He was 17 lb, 2 oz and 28.5 inches long. Gained 2 lobs and 2 inches since his last appt. He has exzema on his elbows and cheeks. Not sure what it's from. I can try an elimination diet again. I suspect something in the solids he's having but not much of it is allergenic except the teething biscuits. God. Enough with food allergies. I know the dairy thing is mild compared to what some people put up with, but it's just exhausting for me. I have a hard enough time just dealing with food and cooking as it is.

Anyway, other than that, he is healthy and happy, except for the mild cold he's had for about 5 days. And now he's sad, so I must go.

Oh, quickly, he got the comvax vaccine and DTaP and finger stick for WIC. The stick was the worst. He refused to nurse during it at all.

typepad

I'm trying a trial over there, but will probably mirror my posts for now. I don't think I"ll end up leaving blogger, but I was too much of a slacker to get together with Karen and figure out movable type. Argh!

Been busy here.

tgif

Random musings...

The girls are going with David tonight after ballet and gymnastics. I realized the other day that when we played hooky from the gym last week we totally forgot to take Soren to ballet! She didn't seem too choked up about it.

I had to street park the Suburban yesterday and I guess I got the tail of it partially into our neighbor's driveway. They left a note saying that we do this all the time and to not do it again. Hah! I *never* park the damn truck and I know that Tom would never make the mistake that I did. He's a professional truck driver! They must be thinking of someone else. I don't think our neighbors like us all that much for some reason :( I'm trying to decide whether I should go over and apologize or not.

I just found out that there is a sex offender who sexually abused an 8 yo living about 3 blocks from us. Ick! Like things aren't bad enough down the next block! I know there's all sorts of views about people and maybe he paid his dues, but still, ick.

It's a beautiful day here, but already after 10am and I don't know how to spend the day before 3:30. I wish Tom wasn't working today so we could take the kids for a hike. I might call David and ask him if he wants to go to the zoo with us. But then I can't take the dog along, and he needs some exercise! I almost killed him last night. He went outside and jumpmed up to the clothesline and pulled my clean bathmat into the mud. Then he pulled on my duvet which is huge and took me forever to get around to wash it, and put muddy pawprints all over it! ARGH! So I guess that's one project today. Rewashing that stuff. I really need to buy a second bathmat for when one is in the wash. I hate using a towel on the floor because it slides all over the place.

Speaking of baths, Jude loves them now that he can sit up in the bathring! He splashes and yells and never wants to get out. He needs a lot of baths lately, because he insists on getting his food all over his body and in his hair every day. Sometimes I take him in the shower with me and he loves that too.

Soren is drawing a really cool spiral picture right now. She wants to submit it to the local homeschool kids newsletter. I'd like to get Emma to write a story.

Speaking of Emma, I stole the book she was reading, and she's peeved about it ;). She's reading more advanced books and I like to know what she's reading, so I started this one and got sucked into it. It's pretty good!

We went to the library the other day and they got a lot of good books. However, when I walked out there was a young man smoking a joint right in front of the library!. I guess I shouldn't be so shocked about these things, but geez, if you're going to smoke pot, do it in your own living room for god's sake.

Jude is trying to help me type and is poopy so I must go. And Soren needs me to pour her cereal. And I need a shower. Ahhh, mornings.

Mimi

Hi Mimi! Thanks for stopping in :). I will forthwith start reading your blog too, because it's fun to be able to see what other wee ones are doing!

Jude is currently falling asleep thank goodness. His morning nap was rudely interrupted by the phone while I was showering (horrors! no fair!) and so he's very tired. I intend to vacuum and make dinner while he's sleeping while doing laundry. My darling husband hung a clothesline for me, but it keeps getting longer, allowing the clothes to creep toward the ground like some sort of caterpillar. He already took about 5 feet out of it. Shortening it is on his short list of chores when he gets home.

Coffee

I need more of it. Literally. I need to drink more, right now. And I need to go to the co-op and buy more, because we're almost out of it. Which is totally unacceptable.

For some reason, this springing forward thing has really screwed me up, pretty much for the first time ever. Losing/gaining an hour hasn't every bothered me. I just adjust and move on. Not so this spring. It's only been 2 days, but I'm still out of sorts and so are all the kids and even the dog. The dog is actually trying to get up *earlier* rather than later to be let out.

Do you ever see something spelled wrong so many times on the internet that you go to type it and you just don't know what is correct anymore? I just did that and gave up and put in another word, a la Porky Pig.

Jo, I can't go to the dentist, because we don't have any dental coverage. I just can't afford it right now. As long as it's not hurting me, I'm not going to worry about it too much.

Jude has a little cold. His poor little snozzle is snotty and his eyes are goopy. He's in pretty good spirits regardless, but it was hard to nurse at 2 a.m. He has also decided that he will not tolerate having his nose or face wiped, and the evil nose sucker has become an instrument of Satan. So he's not really very pleased with me right now.

I was going to pop him in the shower with me this morning, because he has teething biscuit residue all over his entire head and in his hair, but he just fell asleep nursing, back at his normal morning nap time, so I'm loathe to wake him up for the steam benefits of being in the shower with me. Sleep is probably more healing than steam at this point.

The girls have waldorf today. We start homeschool camp for 8 weeks tomorrow - archery, ropes course and camping classes, and Soren's taking a class on periods in history. Then we start rock climinb next week, so Wednesdays will be one big blur but the kids said they prefer to get it all out of the way at once since spring is coming. That way they'll have more time to be outdoors. I feel like we've lost the flow of any book work we were doing, so I'm going to scratch it for awhile and see what happens. Must go update the homeschool blog too.

OK, off to do that and then shower. Emma has to be at class early today for their final dress rehearsal for their play of St. Francis next week.

teeth

I have a broken molar. I have no idea when it happened and it doesn't hurt, but it's annoying the hell out of me because it's sharp. Damn.