TGIF

I'll try to catch up a bit. Last Thursday I took Soren in to have bloodwork done. She had been bruising easily again and looked pale and has been very fatigued all the time, so my instincts told me that she was anemic again.

She had also been quite ill for over a week a while back which is what stimulated the first year-long episode of tests and anemia.

We went in on Monday morning to get the results and sure enough, she was anemic. Again, her body is not making enough red blood cells. Folic acid and iron supplements won't help this kind of anemia. She seems to be on the upswing though and most of her bruising was of the same age, so we're hoping it's of shorter duration. She is to go back in July for a rheumatoid factor and some other immune system tests. I really hope this is something that she grows out of and doesn't turn into lupus or another immune system problem.

I also told the doctor I would need a referral for the child psychologist we're going to see in July. No problems there.

Then I got a new Rx for Tom's asthma inhaler and told her (tattled ) that he isn't taking his steriod inhaler. She sighed dramatically and said, "Don't tell him I said this, but he's just like a teenager!" LOL! So she prescribed him Singulair tablets instead.

I then kind of broke down and told her I'd been having some panic attacks recently. We looked through the PDR and all of the things that are helpful are Category D while nursing. Feh. So no ativan for me. We looked at a couple of other things and no go. So she prescribed me Zoloft. I have really mixed feelings about it. I filled the Rx, but haven't started taking it, not least of which is that we've all been puking our guts up all week.

I do feel that I'm depressed. Mildly to moderately. But I don't like taking meds while nursing. I don't feel that overall it's affecting my ability to function, although it makes it harder at times. And I am concerned about getting off of the meds when I'm ready. I really don't know what to do.

Pros:
-more energy
-lower sex drive (yes, this is a pro )
-hopefully no anxiety attacks

Cons:
-breastfeeding
-lower sex drive (yes, this is a con too! )
-having to titrate off and how to decide when is the right time

It's situational - this is not something I need to go to therapy for. I've got a lot going on. A new marriage. A new baby. Ex-husband recently moving here. Ill parents. Juggling homeschooling, work, etc. Not enough sleep. So...I don't have any answers.

Jude's newest trick is sticking his tongue out and waggling it around like some sort of angelic lizard king. It's very funny and cute. He's also cruising around the house holding on to furniture, but is getting brave and letting go with one hand to reach for an adjacent person or thing to move to. I suspect he'll be standing on his own before too long. Despite his stomach bug, he's been cheerful and as cute as ever.

Rita's coach "tested" Soren on some stuff on Wednesday. Soren loved it and had a lot of fun with her. She had a GREAT day at class that day and worked really hard. If she were more consistent, she'd be ready to move up to Level 3. Emma continues to be unfocused and is driving me batty. I suggested that she try to get in the 'zone' she's in while climbing when she does gymnastics. I am getting tired of watching her refuse to improve and her coaches are tired of telling her to fix the same darn things over and over again.

I'm not sure what the answer is. A break? Something new? I told her I'd like her to take up an instrument in the fall. Guess what she picked? No, really, guess?

String bass. She is the shortest kid in Rochester and wants to play a huge instrument. What a nut!

I still feel queasy and I can smell cigarette smoke from someone outside. It's making me want to hurl.

Speaking of hurling, I am dead sick of being up to my eyeballs in bodily fluids. I have cleaned the bathroom 4 times this week. That's a record, folks. I don't want to clean up any more puke. I don't want to smell any more shit. I don't want to wash any more towels or sheets. I don't want to be the grownup this week. I haven't eaten anything solid but a bowl of cereal since Monday morning. Oh, and jello. Tom got me Chinese takeout last night but it was the *worst* Chinese food I have ever had. It was slimy and bland. He agreed. Nasty. I ate a little ice cream instead.

Please, overlords of the galaxy, don't let the girls start throwing up. I submit! Jude is still intermittently throwing up but is tooling around the room getting into trouble anyway.

Sometimes I feel like this is my theme song. She actually wrote this song when her daughter was about 2. Dawn might appreciate that. But I feel like that about my whole life sometimes ;).

OK, so who wants to go to the store for me. I need laundry detergent, baby food, milk and muenster cheese.