tough day

Yesterday was a tough day. Tom and I had some talking to do - I guess first year of marriage, new baby woes, and it was very exhausting. I was shocked at the level of his low self-esteem. He got very frustrated when I pushed him to talk and finally admitted (exploded?) that he never has talked to anyone and nobody really knows him. Well, duh, that's what I'm *trying* to do better!

It kind of freaked me out though - I still have a lot of baggage and fear from David and I ended up being really upset and crying for a long time. I hate being afraid like that - afraid of being hurt. He felt just awful about it.

I think I am going to see if Catholic Social Services offers any free counseling here. I'm sure they must. Not that I think our marriage is in trouble, but he has sooo much trouble getting below the surface - it might be helpful, because I just don't have it in me to probe and play armchair doc. Nor do I want to. Too much of that shit with David.

ramble, ramble...

The kids went back to waldorf yesterday and it was great. it snowed and they had a blast. Played outside for about 45 minutes.

Just found out that I'm babysitting this morning so have to run. It will be fun though. Emma and Soren's best friends. Yay! Then off to the library and yoga moms and have to work tonight.