Jude's birth story

I had been very uncomfortable since last Monday, 9/6, and having a lot of round ligament pain because there just wasn't much room in there, and the baby was really hurting me when he stretched out.

On Friday, I had my midwife appointment, and she said everything looked good and that she doubted she would see me at an appointment the following week, but we made one for Thursday evening (9/16), just in case. I declined an internal exam, since I didn't think it would tell me anything useful.

After I saw the midwife, Emma and I went to the chiropractor for an adjustment. She thought I would surely go soon. She said my back was stretched to the max and there just wasn't any room in there for him to grow more!

Saturday night I kind of went on strike and crawled into bed, and Tom made me dinner in bed and got the kids fed and into bed. Saturday night I was up a few times, and up completely from 1-4 a.m. with irregular contractions that stopped right away Sunday morning.

Sunday I was in a funk all day, as it was my due date, and nothing was happening. I was very discouraged and wanted to go into labor because it was my sister's birthday and kind of an anniversary for Tom and I. Nada happened that day. I woke up on Monday feeling a lot more philosophical and accepting about whatever might happen. The girls and I ran errands and did homeschooling and played softball in the yard and generally whatever we wanted, which was great.

Tuesday, 9/14, we called a friend and went to her house to swim and have a playdate. I was feeling *really* good while I was there and she fed me wonderful healthy food and we had great conversation. When we left around 5 p.m. to go meet Tom and get stuff together to go to the beach park and cook out and meet other friends, I had a couple of good contractions, but didn't pay too much attention.

While we were at the park from about 6:30 to 8:30, I definitely had a few more "real" contractions and around 8 p.m. I told my friend I wanted to go to the bathroom and check my panties because I felt wet and I was afraid I was leaking amniotic fluid. The first bathroom I went to was locked but then I found another one, and I had lost a bit more plug and had some fluid (it turned out just to be thin mucous, and not amniotic fluid at all). I started timing stuff a bit more and contractions were about 10-20 minutes apart and not regular, but I could feel them in my cervix. By the time we got home from the park around 9:30 p.m., I had bloody show, and things continued on about 10 minutes apart.

It's hard to quantify the length of my labor, because i had prodomal labor on and off again over a few days. I feel like things got started on Tuesday night, but I knew that progress was slow and was in no hurry, but I was sure that things were real and that I'd have a baby in the next 24 hours. I called the midwife, Meg, around 10 p.m. to give her a heads up and she reminded me not to wait until things were 2 minutes apart, because she had an hour drive and wouldn't make it to the birth. I assured her I would call when things were around 5-7 minutes apart and regular. I went to bed around 10:30 p.m. and got woken up every 20-30 minutes by contractions. I know I must have dozed through some of them. I got up at least 3 times and hung out on the computer and wandered around, but knew that progress was slow and tried to go back to bed to rest up. I didn't wake Tom up at all because I really wanted him to be rested for what I knew would be much more intense soon.

We got up around 7 a.m. Wednesday, 9/15, and things were getting more serious when I got out of bed. I called the doula around 7:30 a.m. to let her know to come over and she arrived around 9 a.m. While we were waiting for her, Tom made me milk toast for breakfast and a half cup of coffee and I showered. At 8 or so, I called Meg, the midwife, and let her know that contractions were around 7 minutes apart and about 1 to 1.25 minutes long. She asked if I thought she had time for a shower and I thought she did, so she got there around 10 a.m.

From 9 a.m. to 10 a.m. when Kirsten, our doula, was there, I alternately sat and walked. Things spaced out to 7 or 8 minutes apart when I sat, so when Meg arrived, I got up and got moving, getting things to around 5 minutes apart again. She asked me if I wanted to be checked and I decided I did. I was 3 cm. dilated, very effaced and very soft. That was about what I expected. Of course I had a hell of a contraction after the exam!

My friend Danielle had arrived right before Meg. She ended up cancelling all her appointments for the day and staying for the birth. She wasn't expressly invited and even mentioned afterwards that she felt funny stopping by, but it felt right to have her here. We tried to call Michelle, my friend and massage therapist, but she didn't call back until it was all over, which is a bit of a disappointment, but I wouldn't have really cared by about an hour later I guess!

I decided to go downstairs one last time because I knew I wanted to do most of my laboring in my bedroom and the bathroom, and we ended up hanging out in the backyard for awhile. It felt very surreal. I was having these contractions and everyone was just standing around talking and then there were a zillion yellowjackets swarming in the yard in the grass so we came back in after we picked some tomatoes. Soren helped Danielle and I and we got a big bowl of cherry and regular tomatoes and admired the huge pumpkins which are just starting to turn orange.

This is there things start to get really fuzzy for me time-wise. From what I can gather, I had about 6 hours of intense, purposeful labor - from about 8 a.m. when I called Meg, until Jude was born at 2:12 p.m. However, time because very elongated and strange for me and I was always convinced that it was much later than it was. Anyway, things started getting pretty intense at this point. I was having good contractions 4 to 5 min. apart in the kitchen around 11 a.m. I think, and then decided to go in the living room for a bit, where we admired my birth altar from the Blessingway and I remember that the girls wanted to light the candles, and we couldn't find matches. I honestly don't remember if we ever did get the candles lit.

At some point, I decided that it was a good idea to go upstairs and that I would like to get in a hot bath to see if it would help my back labor. Jude wasn't posterior, but according to the midwife, he had a large head, and I think he was pretty high up and the majority of the labor on Wednesday was about getting him to move down into the birth canal, and I felt all of that in my lower back. It was interesting, because I remembered, even during the labor itself, our Bradley instructor talking about sacral pressure and how she had been with someone who kept asking her to move lower with the pressure, and how that was the baby's head moving down. That was exactly what I experienced.

I have to say here, that Tom was just amazing, as was our doula. He was right there every time I turned around, and supported me through each contractions, putting pressure on my back. When he briefly went to eat something, Kirsten stepped right in and was perfect at counter pressure and support.

Anyway, Tom can't remember exactly what time I got in the tub either, but I think it must have been around 12 or 12:15 p.m. I remembered with Soren that I felt very supported by the back of the tub during contractions, but this was definitely not the case during Jude's labor. It had been very hard for me to sit upright in the car, on the toilet, anywhere for about 2 or 3 weeks prior to his birth, so everytime I felt a contraction coming on, I immediately moved to my hands and knees. Tom put boards across the top of the tub so he could straddle it and apply counterpressure during my contractions. Kirsten joked about him being Bob the Builder when he came upstairs with two 2x4s to put across the tub to sit on ;). I did some pelvic rocks while I was in there too, and I think that helped to move him down further as well.

I kind of went "into the zone" at this point, and people were talking around me but I wasn't really a part of it, although I would occasionally regain some lucidity and contribute something, which always surprised everyone! I was vocalizing by this time, and trying some deep sounds. I was so glad that we practiced this in yoga class, because it really helped me to get in touch with it and not be self-conscious about it. Emma joked that I was talking whale like Dorrie in Finding Nemo. Speaking of the girls, they were there during this whole time, following us around, hanging out, generally being helpful and fetching and carrying. Emma at this point started getting more involved in actual support, and I have memories of her from this point on being very close to me and stroking my arm and telling me that it was OK and that I was doing great :). What a kid!

It must have been around 12:30 p.m. that the midwife assistant, Charity, arrived and around 12:45 that Meg came in and asked me if I was planning on delivering in the tub, or moving to the bedroom. This was my first clue that things were obviously progressing. About half an hour prior to that, I remember Kirsten and Tom talking about how close my contractions were apart and I felt like they were hyperfocusing on that and not on me, and I told Tom I didn't want to know how far apart they were. It was also at this point that I started asking people to be quiet during contractions, because any noise felt like a distraction, but at the same time, I was making every effort to smile during every couple of contractions and feel joy in what was happening and to laugh when I could get involved in a discussion and to generally be very positive.

After Meg asked me about where I was going to birth, I realized that they were getting their stuff together and I suggested that Kirsten should get the homebirth supplies out of my bedroom closet. I decided that I was shriveled up enough and that I should move to the bedroom, so I got out, and had Tom help me dry off.

I moved into the bedroom and wanted to get some music playing, so we tried to put a CD in my computer but it wouldn't work. My sound worked fine before that but still isn't working! Kirsten eventually brought the stereo upstairs so we could listen to it. They were all laughing at me trying to get the computer working in between contractions.

I guess this was around 1 p.m. I got into the bed on my hands and knees and piled pillows in front of me so that I could get up on them during a contraction and rest on my heels in between. I remember trying to be conscious of moving around some in between contractions to try different positions. It became very intense at this point though and at one point I remember saying, "OK, these really hurt. I name thee TRANSITION!" which of course it was. Contractions started coming one on top of another, and sometimes one would start, back off and then start again. Then, contractions started spacing out a bit and I could rest a bit in between. I remember thinking that that seemed like I was getting ready to push, but I couldn't really believe that that was possible at all.

Meg suggested that I stand up and see if that would start moving the head down and maybe my water would break and get things moving along. I still really had no real concept of the fact that pushing was imminent. However, when I stood up, it became apparent pretty quickly that I was there. I could feel his head down low in my rectum and Meg suggested that I push a little bit with the next contraction to again try to get my water to break. After one or two tries at this, I told her I was feeling that his head was very low and she said that she felt I was fully dilated and could start trying to push a bit, and that if it wasn't time, it wouldn't feel good, but that if it was, it would move things along.

By this time, I was kneeling against the bed with my knees on a pillow on the floor. I didn't last very long standing up. It was about 1:45 p.m. by now, according to my probably flawed reconstruction of events. After a couple of tries of pushing, I felt his head moving down and it kind of freaked me out, because I still couldn't really believe that it was time. Meg told me at this point that in a few contractions, I would have the baby! I was *still* in disbelief for some reason.

At this point, a bizarre thing happened. The girls were standing next to me and Tom was kind of beside me. A bee got into the room and flew up under me and into my face. I sat straight up and was immediately "out of the zone" and yelled, "Where the hell did that bee come from?" or something equally stupid, and swatted it. I had visions of me pushing and having to have an epipen injection during this phase of labor. When I swatted it away, it hit Emma in the arm and stung her! She was so shocked it took her a second to realize it and then she started to cry. They grabbed her and got her some ice, as I had another contraction but they got her back in the room in time for the actual birth, thank goodness!

I felt the baby start to move down and some stretching and said "it burns!" Meg realized that I was still fully dressed and suggested that this might be a good time to take my pants off. She's got a kind of wry sense of humor and said that that would probably make delivery a little easier. I remember thinking "is it really that close?" I had gotten dressed with pants and a bra after my bath out of some strange modesty. I didn't really know our doula all THAT well and for some reason wasn't very comfortable being naked in front of Danielle and even had a faint twinge of that during this point but it quickly passed.

During the next contraction, I felt his head move down more and it kind of freaked me out - it truly felt like a bocce ball coming down. I also felt relieved that it was my third child and that I knew how to effectively push him out- that it was OK that I felt like I was pooping him out and that I wasn't feeling it in my vaginal area, where intellectually I keep expecting to feel the pushing urge. I think my cervix kind of tips back a bit anyway. I felt the stretching and burning and I was having a hard time catching my breath and Meg and Tom both really helped me breath through these last couple of contractions in a very calm and focused way.

I pushed and felt his head come out and it was easier than with Soren's birth! But it hurt, just sitting there, and Meg was touching me and I told her not to touch me, but she said that the sac still hadn't broken and she had to break it so he could breathe. So he was born in the caul, which is so cool! It took me a couple of tries to get his shoulders out, because I think he was trying to climb back in ;). I kept asking (yelling at?) Meg not to touch me and she told me she wasn't, that the baby wsa pushing against the contraction (his modus operandi, stinker!) and to push back against him, so I did, and his shoulders slid out and then the rest of him, in the amniotic sac. Right before that, she told me I could touch his head and I said "He has so much hair!" and everyone kind of laughed. He does actually have a nice head of hair :).

Meg wiped him off and suctioned him a bit and handed him to Tom right away in a blanket and told me I could turn around to hold the baby and put him to the breast. I still was in lala land and couldn't fathom that my (formerly) pregnant body, which had such issues moving in the last trimester, in addition to the fact that I just went through all these contractions that I couldn't really move during, was capable of just simply Turning Around And Sitting Down. But it did :). They handed Jude to me and the girls were saying that they had a little brother and Meg asked if anyone had actually verified that fact. Emma was like duh, I saw his boy parts when he came out! Not really that blunt, but that was the gist . He was born at 2:12 p.m.

He rooted and latched on right away, and then it was time to deliver the placenta in a few minutes. It came out intact, and then I bled. I feel *Much* better than I did after Soren's birth, but I still lost 1000 cc's of blood. They were prepared for this, given my history and gave me a shot of pitocin and we got the baby nursing well right away. I got into bed and he nursed for about an hour and was very alert.

They wanted me to try to go to the bathroom to get my uterus to contract some more but I couldn't walk that far - when I stood up I got very lightheaded and short of breath, so I'm on modified bedrest until Sunday - if I go downstairs I have to stay there and rest for a couple of hours before I come back up, but I haven't tried, because just getting to the bathroom at the end of the hall takes all my energy. As long as I sit still and rest in the bedroom and move around little, I feel fantastic, but I obviously need to rest.

Anyway, he nursed for about an hour, and I checked all his fingers and toes and Tom and the girls snuggled with us while everyone else cleaned up the mess.

They finally weighed him and measured him and he was very alert the whole time. He was 7 lb. 5 oz., 19.25 inches, and his head circumference was 14 inches. Meg said that was a king sized head!

Things have been going great since then. He's nursing well, although now my milk is coming in, and true to form, I'm incredibly engorged tonight.

Emma had been the uber-big sister. Very responsible and helpful. Soren wavers between being an absolute horror and being overly (fake) helpful and nice. She is having a hard time adjusting to not being the baby :(. I did get to spend some one on one time with her this evening while Tom was out and Emma was at gymnastics, and that helped a lot. I was getting really frustrated with her and just keep reminding myself that she's only 5.5 yo.

Friends have been dropping by and helping with chores and shopping trips. I'm so blessed! My mom is supposed to come next week but she is probably going to flake out and not come, so I am going to try to make arrangements with someone else.

That's about it - I know it was long, but I didn't want to forget anything and I probably did anyway!