PA
The girls and I went to the zoo on Friday morning, since they had off school and meant to meet Dawn and Caren there, but we thought we would be late, and then they were, so we ended up starting without them but ran into them on our way out. The girls really enjoyed themselves. It was just the right size to keep them interested but not so large that we were all exhausted trying to see it all in a short time period.
After that, we started our trip to PA, with our new car cooler, which seems to be worth the investment.
It seemed to take forever to get here, because I was so sleepy. (note to self: don't travel during your pregnant naptime!)
the girls and I went out to dinner with my mom for her birthday. don't even ask me about her manipulative crap that she tried to pull because David was going to go so he could spend time with the girls. Argh!
Today I got up and visited with my dad for awhile and then spent the afternoon on a nap and reading. I stopped by the house to check on everything and had a complete breakdown after I left. It just made me so homesick for my house and resentful of having to start a whole new life.
Not that I'm not happy where I am, and I would have been out of my house and in a new life regardless of whether it's in PA, NY, or Timbuktu, but just the fact of starting over financially, with no house that I love, feeling guilty about how that affects the girls, ad nauseum. Someday I'll get past all this, I'm sure. Meanwhile, it's my party, so I'll cry if I want ;).
thankfully Tom called me (well, maybe not thankfully for him!) as I was having my little breakdown, so at least I got to cry to someone who loves me and was supportive.I really wish that I was better at reframing my desire for stability into something that didn't include owning a home. I think I'd feel a lot less angst.
This evening I picked up my dad and took him to the Memorial Day parade in Boalsburg, the supposed home of Memorial Day, where I grew up. We had dinner there, but I'm exhausted from sitting in the sun and listening to him tell me the same old stories that he's told me 1000 times ;). Dementia sucks! he had a really good time though. I'm going to take him out to boalsburg again on Monday for the actual holiday, because they have a craft fair, flower show, and all sorts of yummy food and he loves it :).
btw, please excuse the lack of capitalization in this post. I'm on a foreign keyboard and my right pinky nail is way too long and I keep missing the shift key.
After that, we started our trip to PA, with our new car cooler, which seems to be worth the investment.
It seemed to take forever to get here, because I was so sleepy. (note to self: don't travel during your pregnant naptime!)
the girls and I went out to dinner with my mom for her birthday. don't even ask me about her manipulative crap that she tried to pull because David was going to go so he could spend time with the girls. Argh!
Today I got up and visited with my dad for awhile and then spent the afternoon on a nap and reading. I stopped by the house to check on everything and had a complete breakdown after I left. It just made me so homesick for my house and resentful of having to start a whole new life.
Not that I'm not happy where I am, and I would have been out of my house and in a new life regardless of whether it's in PA, NY, or Timbuktu, but just the fact of starting over financially, with no house that I love, feeling guilty about how that affects the girls, ad nauseum. Someday I'll get past all this, I'm sure. Meanwhile, it's my party, so I'll cry if I want ;).
thankfully Tom called me (well, maybe not thankfully for him!) as I was having my little breakdown, so at least I got to cry to someone who loves me and was supportive.I really wish that I was better at reframing my desire for stability into something that didn't include owning a home. I think I'd feel a lot less angst.
This evening I picked up my dad and took him to the Memorial Day parade in Boalsburg, the supposed home of Memorial Day, where I grew up. We had dinner there, but I'm exhausted from sitting in the sun and listening to him tell me the same old stories that he's told me 1000 times ;). Dementia sucks! he had a really good time though. I'm going to take him out to boalsburg again on Monday for the actual holiday, because they have a craft fair, flower show, and all sorts of yummy food and he loves it :).
btw, please excuse the lack of capitalization in this post. I'm on a foreign keyboard and my right pinky nail is way too long and I keep missing the shift key.
posted by Unknown @ 7:35 PM
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