Falling Apart
My body is really pissing me off. My back *still* hurts and the chiro appt did nothing for it. Now, the bottom of the joint of my left big toe is killing me. I'm sure I have a bone spur again, in the same spot that I had surgery on before and I do *not* want to have surgery again, but I can't go on like this for long.
I had the surgery when Emma was 5 mo. old and being on crutches with a new baby is hell. I don't know how I'd do it w/ 3 kids. Thankfully I don't need that foot to drive, but geez. I guess I'd have to have Emma use the stroller a lot with Jude or something. It feels worse than the first time, which worries me, because the surgery ended up being more invasive than they thought it would be, and I came out of it with nerve damage that has given me shooting pains and numbness in my foot for 8 years now.
Damn. Also, I still have a sore spot in my left thigh, which my midwife thought was from the pitocin injection, but come on...11 weeks later it still hurts? My left side is falling apart! I'm also in a bit of denial, but I think the lump I had under my left armpit, that appeared right before I had Jude, is growing larger. Feh.
Thankfully the right side of my body is behaving itself so far.
Soren had a lovely birthday celebration at LCG today. The walked her around the circle 6 songs, singing to her, and then I shared memories of each of her years, which was a stretch, since most of her life feels like a blur and it's hard to call up specific memories. Actually, I have virtually no memory at all of her first year of life and from the time when her dad left to about 2 years later is pretty much a blank too. Just surviving and all that. I wish I still had my blog from that period. I erased it in a fit of pique and had a backup on my hard drive, but the twins did something to my computer last year and many of my old documents got deleted.
I'm full of joy today, no? Let's see, oh yeah ;). The girls and I started a gingerbread house today and it will *not* stay together. We were hysterical with laughter because it keeps falling apart!
Thankfully, Tom made a VAT of turkey soup last night, so dinner is already done. Yay, no cooking for me today. I can spend another hour screwing around with the damn gingerbread house!
I spent way too much energy this morning carping at the girls about the state of the house. Why can't I just clean up after them? It would take less time and I wouldn't feel like critical nagging bitch by noon. But where is the personal responsibility in that? Perhaps they're too young for that crap ;). I mean really, Jude should really be changing his own diapers by now, right?
Augh. I better go do something. I have to leave to pick up the girls soon and I don't even feel like I had a break. Plus I have to bring the diapers up from the laundry. My goal was to organize my file cabinet today. Hah! I haven't even touched a piece of paper back in the accursed corner where everything is stacked. How does one family accumulate so much crap?
Which reminds me, we have to get a tree so we can put all the Solstice stuff up that is sitting in the dining room! Ya'll know how much I love clutter, right?
I had the surgery when Emma was 5 mo. old and being on crutches with a new baby is hell. I don't know how I'd do it w/ 3 kids. Thankfully I don't need that foot to drive, but geez. I guess I'd have to have Emma use the stroller a lot with Jude or something. It feels worse than the first time, which worries me, because the surgery ended up being more invasive than they thought it would be, and I came out of it with nerve damage that has given me shooting pains and numbness in my foot for 8 years now.
Damn. Also, I still have a sore spot in my left thigh, which my midwife thought was from the pitocin injection, but come on...11 weeks later it still hurts? My left side is falling apart! I'm also in a bit of denial, but I think the lump I had under my left armpit, that appeared right before I had Jude, is growing larger. Feh.
Thankfully the right side of my body is behaving itself so far.
Soren had a lovely birthday celebration at LCG today. The walked her around the circle 6 songs, singing to her, and then I shared memories of each of her years, which was a stretch, since most of her life feels like a blur and it's hard to call up specific memories. Actually, I have virtually no memory at all of her first year of life and from the time when her dad left to about 2 years later is pretty much a blank too. Just surviving and all that. I wish I still had my blog from that period. I erased it in a fit of pique and had a backup on my hard drive, but the twins did something to my computer last year and many of my old documents got deleted.
I'm full of joy today, no? Let's see, oh yeah ;). The girls and I started a gingerbread house today and it will *not* stay together. We were hysterical with laughter because it keeps falling apart!
Thankfully, Tom made a VAT of turkey soup last night, so dinner is already done. Yay, no cooking for me today. I can spend another hour screwing around with the damn gingerbread house!
I spent way too much energy this morning carping at the girls about the state of the house. Why can't I just clean up after them? It would take less time and I wouldn't feel like critical nagging bitch by noon. But where is the personal responsibility in that? Perhaps they're too young for that crap ;). I mean really, Jude should really be changing his own diapers by now, right?
Augh. I better go do something. I have to leave to pick up the girls soon and I don't even feel like I had a break. Plus I have to bring the diapers up from the laundry. My goal was to organize my file cabinet today. Hah! I haven't even touched a piece of paper back in the accursed corner where everything is stacked. How does one family accumulate so much crap?
Which reminds me, we have to get a tree so we can put all the Solstice stuff up that is sitting in the dining room! Ya'll know how much I love clutter, right?
posted by Unknown @ 3:05 PM
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